


Black Coffee and a Barista

by badfanficduo



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alernate Universe, Awkwardness, Cherry Blossoms, College AU, Crepes, Human AU, Incorrect treatment of laptop screens, M/M, Majestic Hair, Majestic!Thorin, Punk Rock Thorin, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Yaoi, almost falling into rivers, coffee shop AU, getting stuck in the rain, rich people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-06 05:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4210350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badfanficduo/pseuds/badfanficduo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"...and he left. Out the door like a cherry blossom flitting away in the wind, without any real direction or purpose, except he did have a purpose because he had class in ten minutes and he wasted all his time in that weird impromptu staring contest with that sexy barista." </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A fateful meeting in a small coffee shop leads to an unexpected bond between two unlikely fellows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Encounter

It was a warm day in September, the cherry blossom leaves were beginning to fall from the trees, and the sun cascading down on the face of the one and only Thorin Oakenshield. He was making his way down the sidewalk, his long ebony hair drifting in the subtle breeze. Thorin was wearing a grey shirt with some sort of cool punk band logo on it, and a leather jacket, even though it wasn’t very cold out. He was actually feeling really warm, he continued to wear the jacket anyways. There is a price to pay to look hardcore.

Thorin was making his way to the coffee shop that was just a block away from his university, he really needed some coffee. Black coffee, without milk or cream or sugar or any of that junk, because he was hardcore. A cherry blossom petal fell from a tree and landed on his face. He brushed it off the same way he brushed off every person who tried to get close to him, damn, that would make a pretty good metaphor, he thought to himself.

He rounded the corner and spotted the coffee shop. He’d never actually been there before, actually, he had no idea how he even knew it was there, how strange. It was almost as though fate was leading him there, like it was his destiny to go there right at that specific moment. Oh wait, nevermind, he just remembered. Balin told him to try it out last wednesday at football practice. Pshhhh.

Thorin entered the cafe and a small bell rang to alert the staff of his presence. It was a really annoying bell, he hated this place already. He hated most places, and most things in general actually.

There was no line at the counter, and a short brunette with curly hair was standing at the till. His name tag read “BILBO”, which was the dumbest name Thorin II Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, had ever heard in his entire 21 years of life.

“I’ll take a large coffee. Black.” He made sure to stress that it was black coffee, it made him look more hardcore. Bilbo nodded, and looked vaguely like he was suppressing a giggle.

“Right away sir. I like the flower petals in your hair, it really adds to your whole punk rock look.” Thorin was mortified, there were flowers in his hair? Those damn cherry blossom trees… always getting in his stuff. (SYMBOLISM) He hurried to pluck them all out with his fingers, using his (manly) compact mirror that he carries around everywhere to make sure they were all gone. Just then Bilbo suddenly appeared with his coffee.

“Here you go....?” He insinuated curiously.

“Thorin.” Wait, he totally didn’t mean to tell this cute short guy his name. Wait cute? He meant adorable. No he meant WEIRD! Thorin really needed that coffee.

“Well then! Here you go Thorin!” Bilbo handed him the scalding elixir. Thorin took it. Thorin stared at Bilbo, Bilbo stared at Thorin, Thorin stared back. This went on for about 20 minutes.

“Goodbye.” Thorin said, and he left. Out the door like a cherry blossom flitting away in the wind, without any real direction or purpose, except he did have a purpose because he had class in ten minutes and he wasted all his time in that weird impromptu staring contest with that sexy barista. And by sexy he meant hideous. Thorin shook his head and sprinted away, his hair flailing behind him like cape. He was going to be late for class if he kept goofing around.

Thorin raced majestically into the classroom. Everyone looked to him in a sort of awe, he had a heavenly white glow about him; probably because the classroom was dark from the movie they were about to watch and it was very bright outside. “Mr. Oakenshield, take a seat, you’re late.” said his teacher, who was trying to hide their red cheeks caused by Thorin’s supernatural beauty. He took a seat and scowled menacingly at Thrandiul who was sitting next to him, but he couldn’t get the cute guy from the coffee shop out of his mind. He looked at the coffee, Bilbo had written his name with a heart above the “i”. They were watching some weird propaganda videos about World War II, didn’t he already see these in grade 11 or something? Ugh, whatever.

He sat through the weird videos in silence, what did these even have to do with geology? The bell rang with a loud, ear piercing, irritating, annoying, mind numbing ring and Thorin jumped up in surprise, only to cover it up with a suave hair toss and crooked smile like the kind you get after you have your mouth frozen by the dentist. At least the day was done. He grabbed his now cold coffee and shoved Thrandiul’s books to the floor before sashaying away like a boss.

Thorin walked casually through the university gardens, through the gates and down the sidewalk once more. His iphone said it was 11:11 exactly. He wished he could see that adorable barista again, and sure enough, walked through the doors to that coffee shop he worked in.

Thorin’s icy cerulean orbs glanced around the dimly lit coffee shop, searching for Bilbo. He wasn’t standing behind the counter, Thorin felt a little bit disappointed, but at least that meant he could facebook stalk him on his laptop without worrying. His apple laptop made that annoying extremely loud startup sound, that called attention to him from the entire coffee shop. Thorin played it cool and opened up chrome and typed in his name: B-I-L-B-

“Whatcha doin?” said a somewhat familiar voice. Bilbo was standing right in front of his table. Thorin smashed his laptop screen down so fast that he could hear the glass shattering.

He coughed, “Nothing,” Thorin said, “Can I have a large coffee please, black” his sky blue orbs captivated Bilbo, and he stared into them for a moment, reminiscing about the open skies he saw in his childhood away from the city, before smiling and nodding.

“Sure thing, Thorin, I’ll be right back!” Bilbo bounced around the counter lined with many different kinds of coffee. Hesitantly, Thorin lifted his laptop screen. Bits of glass fell from it, he cursed under his breath just in time for Bilbo to come skipping back with his coffee. “Here,” his smile glowed in the sunlight, Thorin was taken aback by Bilbo’s childlike charm. The coffee was warm in his hands. Thorin thanked him and grabbed his belongings before taking a sip and walking to the door of the shop. Bilbo was smiling at him as he left. While making his way downtown, walkin’ fast, faces pass and he’s homebound, he catches something in the corner of his eye, a phone number etched out in pink sharpie. Bilbo’s cell phone number.

END OF CHAPTER ONE


	2. An Unexpected Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin tries to work up the nerve to text Bilbo, and winds up going on a date... sort of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MM: We highly recommend putting this whole thing into google translate and listening to it. Seriously. Way better than reading it normally.
> 
> BB: I wrote for Bilbo and MM wrote for Thorin during the text conversation.

Thorin stared at the cup with the phone number on it. It sat on his desk across the room. He held his cell phone, and picked the cup up and held it in his other hand. He contemplated texting Bilbo… He wondered why he even gave him his number? Maybe he was… actually interested! Thorin began to pace back and forth.

Bilbo ran his fingers through his curly unkempt hair as he kept looking at his phone. No missed calls or new texts yet. He felt so stupid, it was way too forward of him to do. Suddenly, his phone buzzed.

Thorin: Is this Bilbo? Or did I get given a fake number?  
Bilbo: No, that’s me. I would never give u a fake number.  
Thorin: How sweet of you.  
Bilbo: Thanks… i hope your coffee was okay.  
Thorin: It was… fine.  
Bilbo: Just fine? seems like i need to work on my brewing skills  
Thorin: Oh, did you make it yourself?  
Bilbo: Yeah.   
Thorin: So you take orders and make them? Sounds like a lot of work for one dude.  
Bilbo: It isn’t that bad… I get good tips for university tuition.  
Thorin: Do you go to Middle Earth University?  
Bilbo: Of course! the best University on Wholearth!   
Thorin: …That was terrible.  
Thorin: I go there as well.  
Bilbo: What classes do u take? I take culinary arts and I’m getting my business degree…  
Thorin: Uh, you know, geology and some other stuff.  
Bilbo: Thats cool. :-)  
Thorin: Why did you give me your number?  
Bilbo: Ummm... well... you seemed cool  
Thorin: Do you give everyone who looks cool your phone number?  
Bilbo: Not necessarily…  
Thorin: So why me?  
Bilbo: I  
dk I just felt somethin, you know?  
Thorin: …  
Bilbo: Uuuuh… So do you wanna hang out later or something?  
Thorin: …  
Thorin: Sure… I guess, if you insist.

Thorin was trying not to jump up and down with excitement and mirth. He decided to wait until Bilbo answered, so he didn’t look to desperate or something. Wait, that’s not even relevant. He isn’t desperate so he doesn’t need to worry about seeming like it. His phone beeped loudly.

Bilbo: How about you meet me tomorrow morning after my shift is done, around 10:30… We could go for a walk somewhere?

At this point Thorin was beyond being able to hide his joy, and allowed himself to show it for a mere moment.

The next day Thorin stood still stoically outside of the small cafe, it was sort of warm out but also sort of not warm out. Thorin was, of course, wearing his badass leather jacket that was super cool and also badass. It was 10:35 and he had just arrived, fashionably late, as usual. The loud irritating annoying bell that was attached to the shop door rang loudly and very annoyingly to signify that someone was opening the door. Thorin didn’t turn around to see who, he just continued to stare off into the distance like a total mysterious hunk.

“Here, I grabbed you a muffin.” A familiar voice remarked behind him. Thorin finally decided to stop looking mopey and turned to face Bilbo.

“Ok. Thanks.” He uttered passionately, plucking the moist muffin from Bilbo’s deft fingers. “So, uh, where did you want to go?” Thorin inquired eloquently.

Bilbo pondered for a moment, (more like 20 seconds), before clapping his hands together joyfully and exclaiming, “There is a wonderful little park just near here that I’ve been meaning to check out. They grow flowers and there's a cute little gazebo and baby ducks and stuff like that! We should go there!”

Thorin grunted in reluctant agreement. The unlikely duo made their way down the sidewalk in the general direction of the park.Bilbo wished Thorin could see himself, the sun shining on his hair that made it look like light shining through ebony. His sapphire eyes gleaming, Bilbo was awestruck at how… nevermind.

It was only a short walk to the park, and when they arrived Thorin was pleasantly surprised at it’s appearance. There were large flowers in bloom all around and large trees providing shade to visitors. Thorin and Bilbo entered the park through a really fancy gate and strolled casually along the path.

In the distance Thorin could hear a bubbling river, and as they came around the bend he saw a glimpse of the riverbank. Bilbo grabbed the sleeve of Thorin’s super cool badass leather jacket and pulled him in the direction of the river. The river looked sort of deep, not quite shallow enough to wade in at least.

Bilbo bounced giddily and raced over to the river, letting go of Thorin’s sleeve to get closer to the edge. The ground was bumpy with tree roots sticking out of the dirt at random intervals. “Hey, Thorin! look at the du-”

Thorins eyes opened wide in fear as he saw the adorable barista slip on a tree root and start falling into the river. He called out to Bilbo, his hand reached out to Bilbo, who was looking at Thorin with fear in his eyes. With one swift movement Thorin snatched Bilbo’s hand roughly, but not enough to actually hurt, and pulled him back and into his manly, muscular arms.

“You should be more careful!” Thorin exclaimed worriedly. “You could have gotten hurt or fallen in!” Thorin suddenly noticed that Bilbo had yet to pull out of his arms, and he had not yet let him go. The two stared at each other for a moment, when suddenly there was a crack of thunder and it began pouring rain. Bilbo grabbed Thorin’s hand and dragged him towards the gazebo that was nearby.

They stood next to each other under the gazebo, sheltered from the rain, mere inches apart. Thorin didn’t even realize that he had began to lean towards Bilbo, and it seemed as though Bilbo was leaning closer to him as well. Suddenly Thorin’s phone rang very loudly, startling them both and making Bilbo curse. Thorin dug his phone out of his slightly damp pocket and answered it.

“Hello, who is it.” He muttered grumpily. Bilbo could here soft mutters through the little speaker while Thorin spoke into the phone. Thorin grunted at the caller and covered the phone with his hand. “It’s my cousin Kili, he’s always calling me for no reason.”

“What’s the reason this time?” Bilbo inquired curiously. 

Thorin snorted as he hung up his phone. “He locked himself out of his apartment. I told him to call his brother.” Bilbo laughed.

The two of them stood under the gazebo for a while in a silence that should have been awkward, but it wasn’t for some odd reason.


	3. An Unexpected Houseguest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stormy skies ahead, literally. This chapter is a bit short, sorry not sorry. -MM

The pair stood in their should-be-awkward not awkward silence for probably at least 20 seconds or something, before Thorin cleared his throat seductively.

“My apartment isn’t too far from here, we could run their and wait for this storm to end.” He muttered cooly, whilst shaking his slightly damp long majestic raven hair and furiously attempting not to stutter.

“Uh, sure.” Bilbo began, “It would beat standing out here in the cold.” With that Thorin snatched Bilbo’s hand and took off. The two of them ran several blocks before arriving at a hella fancy big apartment building. Thorin led Bilbo inside, waving familiarly at the fancy guy who stood by the door for probably no reason. 

The twosome stepped into the ridiculously gaudy elevator and Thorin pressed the button for the top floor. Damn, this is fancy as hell, speculated Bilbo.

A bell dinged, and the door opened to a swanky hallway with very intricate and detailed carpets, as well as artwork donated by orphan children decorating the walls. Bilbo’s mouth literally gaped with awe, he was completely taken-aback, Thorin was totally rich. Bilbo decided not to comment on any of this, and merely followed Thorin down the long fancy ornate elegant hallway towards a solid oak door that had golden numbers on it. Thorin produced a key from his pocket and used it to unlock the door.

“Come in.” said the raven haired man, his voice like smooth dark molasses, as he opened up the door and gestured for Bilbo to enter. Bilbo entered the lavish apartment. It was even bigger than the house Bilbo had grown up in when he was a small boy with his two loving, now deceased parents, (but that is a story for another day).

“Would you like some coffee or something else?” Thorin insinuated politely as he extracted himself from his dripping leather jacket and hung it near the door. Bilbo shook his head.

“I prefer tea, actually.” Bilbo pointed out, “ After working at a coffee shop for a few years it gets kind of boring.” he smiled at the end shyly.

“Ok.” Thorin said, elegantly, “I keep some tea in my kitchen for a good friend of mine who enjoys it.” He walked towards the kitchen. On his way there he flicked on the television. He began brewing Bilbo’s tea when a sudden news alert interrupted the reality T.V. show that had been playing.

“WARNING.” The intense news reporter began, “MILD TORNADO AND HAIL WARNINGS FOR TONIGHT. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED YOU LEAVE YOUR HOME. DO NOT PANIC.” It droned on about statistics and what to do in the case of a tornado, Bilbo paled. Thorin coughed.

“Well, I suppose you had better stay the night here. It wouldn’t be smart to walk home in a tornado.” He said as he turned his face away from Bilbo, trying to hide his obvious blush. Bilbo appeared as though he was going to protest, when a sudden gust of wind howled outside.

“I suppose that would be the smart thing to do…” Bilbo reluctantly stated. Bilbo sat down on Thorin’s expensive black sleek leather couch.

Thorin coughed yet again, “We could watch a movie to pass the time?” He said as he poured boiling water into a mug for Bilbo’s tea. Bilbo simply nodded in response. “Uh, what would you like to watch?” Thorin asked.

The two men spent about twenty minutes trying to decide what movie they could watch as Thorin finished the tea, though it was mostly just Bilbo trying to make up his mind. In the end they decided to watch a classic, Titanic. Thorin brought Bilbo his tea, and brought a can of ginger ale for himself.

As the movie went on, Thorin couldn’t stop himself from watching Bilbo instead of the screen. At some point he realized he was risking being caught staring, so he turned to stare blankly at the movie for it’s remainder. He didn’t realize when Bilbo’s eyelids began to droop tiredly. 

Bilbo struggled to stay awake, as he very much wanted to finish the movie. He glanced over at Thorin, who didn’t appear very interested. Should he have picked a more interesting movie? Perhaps Thorin was more fond of action movies, or horror movies. Bilbo was not a fan of horror movies so he hoped Thorin wasn’t partial to them. He yawned loudly.

Thorin was surprised when Bilbo’s head landed softly on his shoulder, fast asleep. Thorin, of course, did not mind at all. He reached for the remote on the side closer to Bilbo to turn the movie off, and wound up leaving his arm there, wrapped around the small brunette’s shoulders. Eventually Thorin fell asleep as well, with his arm wrapped around Bilbo and his hand weakly clutching the remote.


	4. An Unexpected Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written pretty much only by MM. BB was being a terrible co-author. Sorry it took so long.

A golden sunbeam peaked through the curtains and cascaded down onto Bilbo’s peaceful slumbering angelic face. He woke the way one falls in love, slowly, and then all at once. He blinked his golden brown orbs open, squinting in the brilliant sunlight. It took several moments for Bilbo to realize where he was, and notice the strong muscular toned arms that were wrapped around him. He was in the living room of none other than Thorin Oakenshield.

Bilbo stayed very still, fearful that he might wake Thorin. That would be extremely embarrassing, he speculated. He turned his head very slowly to look towards the kitchen, and saw the time on the digital display of the microwave. It was already past breakfast! Bilbo did his best to unwind himself from Thorin’s secure embrace. He decided that he would make breakfast for the two of them, after all it was only fair.

Bilbo rolled up his sleeves and got to work straight away. He sauntered into Thorin's high tech, very expensive looking kitchen and began searching for ingredients. The kitchen, of course, was extremely well stocked, and Bilbo had no trouble at all finding what he needed.

Thorin awoke to the mouth-watering aroma of sizzling bacon. He sat up on his couch and looked around in confusion with his bleary unfocused glacial azure orbs, as cold as the arctic tundra and hiding a warm kind loving soul beneath.

He turned elegantly in the direction of the kitchen and discovered Bilbo standing at his stove and cooking. Thorin ogled him for a moment, or probably like thirty very long moments, before shaking his head and standing up.

Thorin dexterously stretched his back and arms and stifled a yawn. He ambled alluringly into the kitchen and rested a capacious manful hand on Bilbo's lithe shoulder, the brunette flinched in surprise.

"What's all this?" The ravenette inquired conspicuously. Red bloomed on Bilbo's cheeks.

"O-oh, I'm just... Making breakfast for us. I thought I might as well since I owe you for letting me stay the night..." Bilbo explained eagerly.

Thorin looked down hungrily at Bilbo... I mean the bacon, and admired the brunette's talent for cooking, Thorin himself had never been a very good cook.

There was a pan holding the sizzling bacon, and a plate covered in tinfoil near the stove that likely held pancakes or French toast or some other equally delectable and cliche breakfast food. Thorin watched the food, forgetting that he had left his firm hand settled on Bilbo's shoulder. The ravenette suddenly realized he still had a solid grip on his friend, so he removed his hand and simpered apologetically at Bilbo's calescent face.

Bilbo flipped the bacon over and quickly looked it over to ensure that it was cooked to perfection, then he scraped it off the hot pan and onto a plate.

“There.” The brunette said, “It’s done. You can dish up if you’d like Thorin.”

Thorin nodded and leaned towards Bilbo, who froze at the close proximity, and wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed when he realized Thorin was only trying to get plates from the cupboard above Bilbo’s head.

“Here.” Thorin articulated as he handed Bilbo a plate. He grabbed a few pieces of Bacon, and then peeled back the foil on the other plate to reveal… crepes. Damn that wasn’t even one of our guesses, I mean Thorin’s guesses. While he was busy cursing out the authors, and by authors I mean himself, for not being able to guess what kind of cliche breakfast meal Bilbo would make, said brunette had gone over to the large extravagant fridge to retrieve various dressings and stuff that a person would use on crepes. Like jam or syrup or something equally delicious and possibly more expensive.

Bilbo dished up expeditiously and joined Thorin at the lavish dining table. Thorin appeared somewhat dazed as he chewed on a piece of bacon for an unreasonable amount of time.

“Something wrong, Thorin?” Bilbo asked hesitantly, he hoped that the impassive raven haired man didn’t think his cooking was unsatisfactory or something.

Thorin jumped in surprise and coughed in a way that he hoped was at least a little subtle when he choked on a piece of bacon that had decided it now wanted to live stuck to the back of his throat.

“No, no nothing’s wrong!” He said defensively, “It’s just, you really didn’t have to do all this. You don’t owe me or anything for letting you stay over, you know.” He stated matter-of-factly. 

“Ah well, I just wanted to do something nice in return. Just consider it a thank you.” Bilbo said with a small grin. Thorin’s eyes lingered on him for a moment, before he shook his head fondly.

The awkwardness dissolved instantly, and the two men spent the rest of the morning chatting affectionately and laughing with each other over breakfast.

After another hour or so, when the plates and forks and other things that people tend to eat with had been placed in the dishwasher, Bilbo stood and stretched his arms above his head and decided that it was about time that he headed out. He had an afternoon class he had to attend and he had to go home to get his textbooks and check on his cat before.

“I have to be going now.” He stated obviously, as he walked to the door. Thorin stood up to follow him to the door. “I have an afternoon class and I have to go home first to take care of some things.”

Thorin was disappointed that Bilbo had to leave so soon, but he tried his best to hide his disenchantment.

“Have a safe walk home, then.” He said as he held the door open for Bilbo, like any true gentleman would.

Bilbo slipped his shoes on and straightened up. He hesitated for a moment, before moving towards Thorin to give him a brief yet sincere hug. Then he waved quickly and darted out the door and down the hallway at a somewhat unreasonably fast pace.

Thorin stood entranced in the doorway for at least 5 minutes, maybe even more. Before closing the door and turning around. He glanced at the clock, remembered he had a class he was supposed to go to a few hours ago, and promptly smacked his head against the wall with a groan.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by two authors. You can call us Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy for now. MM and BB for short. I hope you enjoyed our 100% serious fan fiction.


End file.
